Saying Goodbye
by kargrif
Summary: Post Chosen Buffy receives something unexpected as the gang leaves the Sunndydale and head to L.A. to regroup before deciding what to do next. Will be Spuffy.
1. Prelude

Summary: Post Chosen: Buffy and Company are headed away from the now closed Hellmouth and to L.A. What will a heartbroken slayer do with herself now? Not as much angst as what Joss gave us. Will be Spuffy of course.

Disclaimer: Joss owns all.

Beta'd by the lovely spikespetslayer. ( Thank you so much for your words of encouragement and advice! )

Song at the end is Uncle Kracker. "Writing it Down"

Title: Saying Goodbye

Prelude: The Beginning of the End

Faith slowly made her way down the aisle of the school bus carrying the Scooby's and newly powered slayers away from the hole in the ground that was all that remained of Sunnydale. She sat down in the seat with Buffy, who had her face pressed against the cool glass, letting it soothe her.

Buffy turned to Faith with a slight smile. "We made one hell of a dent didn't we?" Buffy softly stated.

A smirk gracing her dust covered face, Faith replied, "Yeah B. You know how I always liked making an exit."

"Yeah usually your exits usually end with someone in a coma or in prison. Come to think of it so do your entrances." Buffy smile grows a little as Faith tries to look insulted.

"Hey not always...anyway I got something to give ya. Spike gave it to me before we left the house. Made me promise to keep it safe." Faith hands Buffy a long yellow envelope that has here name scrawled across if flowing script. Buffy just stared down at the handwriting. Faith starts to leave but sits back down. "You know for a vamp he was really wasn't all that bad. He talked to me, didn't treat me like I was broken, couldn't be trusted. It was kinda nice, reminded me of how things were before I- ya know. Anyway he kept saying if he didn't make it out that I was to give that to you. Told him that he could give it to you himself, but he made me promise. I guess he kinda knew what was comin'."

The brunette got up and began to make her way back to the front of the bus. Buffy was still staring at the package, tears stinging her eyes. She gripped the envelope with both hands as she tore it open and tilted it so that a small journal slid out. There was a several pieces of paper folded in the front of the book. She took it out and began to read, tears welling up in her eyes again.

Dear Buffy,

I know that there is a very slim chance that I will make it through this fight. I know that things have never been what I wanted them to be between us. But Buffy loving you was the one thing in this world that I was sure of.

****

I was born on the cold side of the mountain

I wanna wake up on the warm side of the bed

How I start here

And how I end there

That is the part I ain't worked out yet

I know that no one will be singing my praises or hailing me as the bloody hero. But that's not what I wanted anyway. I know that this amulet is powerful, I can feel it. I've been around enough to know the power that this type of magic always comes at a price.

You see it's not heroic at all, it's cowardly if anything. I know in my soul that I could not live in a world without you again, and if giving my unlife makes it so you and Dawnie can go on with yours then it really no decision at all. And I would do it all again as many times as it takes.

****

Every day I climb a little bit higher

Every night I learn something new

I'm writing it down

In case I forget

One day it'll be my story for you.

I know that I told you that you belonged in the dark with me, but I was wrong. Yes you do belong in the night; you're a slayer after all. But at night your a bright shining star, the brightest in the sky, with your light you drew me to you, like a moth to a flame.

This journal is for you. I started writing in it after I came back from Africa, just small things at first; mostly just to try to sort things out in my mind. About you and how much I loved you, your beauty, inside and out, your courage, your strength, your determination, your heart and how much you loved the people around you. I wrote about how unworthy I was of you, how you could never love someone like me. But also wrote of hope that someday things might change and somehow I might be worthy of just a small place in your heart.

****

On every page you will know how much I love you

In every line you will see how much I care

With every word we'll grow a little closer

Even though we both know I can't be there

I know... what a bloody poof. But I had to write everything down, so that I would know that it all actually happened. That even for a brief moment that we were together. Maybe not as two people in love but as two people that needed each other, and for a short time that was enough. To get to hold you in my arms and hope that someday it could be for real.

****

That's why I'm writing it down down down down down

Ohhhhhhhh I'm writing it down

For you and for me

And for the whole wide world to read

Ohhhhhhhh I'm writing it down

The book is yours to do with what you want. Read it, store it away, burn it, it's your choice but I would like to think that you would keep it. This and my empty grave in England are probably the only things left to prove that I was even in this world that you've saved so many times. It's full, not one page empty. I know that the poetry's not the best but please know that all of it is from my heart, and not all of it is bloody awful poetry. Some are pages are about us, demons we faced together, time we spent talking. A lot of pages are just things that I wanted to remember about you, you in the moonlight walking after patrol, you arguing with Dawn about doing her chores, you standing defiant against the big bads of the world.

****

All my life I've been hoping and praying

For my time to finally arrive

To put down this pen

To say it's the end

And wake up back home with you by my side

Most of all I just wanted to let you know that you were loved. Even if it was a love that you really didn't want in the first place. It has to mean something right? I like to think that it means there is hope, for everyone no matter who they are that everyone can find love. And I hope someday that you can find yours. Who knows maybe someday we'll see each other again. All this saving innocents has to get me somewhere, right? Tell the nibblet I love her, and tell the Scooby's that they fought a good fight and I hope they all made it out.

Love eternally,

Spike

****

On every page you will know how much I love you

In every line you will see how much I care

With every word we'll grow a little closer

Even though we both know I can't be there

That's why I'm writing it down down down down down

As Buffy wiped the tears from her face and began to flip thru the book, finding that all the pages were full, and stuck in the middle was two pictures one of her, Dawn, and her mother. The other was of her, Willow, and Xander. Buffy turned to stare out the window as the tears silently fell down her cheeks. And she knew that Spike had indeed found himself and place in her heart.

****

Ohhhhhhhh I'm writing it down

For you and for me

And for the whole wide world to read

Ohhhhhhhh I'm writing it down

I was born on the cold side of the mountain

I wanna wake up on the warm side of the bed

How I start here

And how I end there

That is the part I ain't worked out yet

TBC


	2. Chapter 1

Summary: Buffy and gang are in L.A. to decide what's next.

Disclaimer: Joss owns all.

Beta' by the wonderful and talented spikespetslayer.

Saying Goodbye

Chapter 1

As the bus drove into L.A., Faith gave Robin directions to the Hyperion. Their hopes of finding Angel, and hopefully shelter, for a couple of days dwindled as they pulled in front of an apparently deserted building. The original Scooby's and Faith walked up to the building to see if they could find out why it was empty. The flyer on the door stated that Angel Investigations had relocated to the Wolfram and Hart building.

"I don't get it! Did I miss something?" Faith asked stunned beyond belief. "No way has Angel joined up with them. They're evil, way evil" Faith filled in the others about some of the dealings that she had and had seen and heard of from the law firm.

"Do we have any other way of getting a hold of Angel or his people? To see what's going on before we jump to conclusions?" Buffy asked, not wanting to think about what it would mean if Angel had crossed over in the short time since she had seen him.

"Hey, I still have Fred's cell number from before my last visit," Willow offered hopefully "with the whole soul thing and all. Let's go find a phone and give her a call."

About thirty minutes later they had talked to Fred. The young scientist was adamant that Angel was still all soul having and not evil. She had also told them that she would let him know that they were in need of accommodations and would send him down to the old hotel and he could explain what they were doing at Wolfram and Hart.

"I just hope its going to be a good explanation." Buffy sighed, the stress of the last few weeks, hell, years, was starting to catch up, and her body seemed to protest every moment.

They didn't have long to wait before the whole group from AI showed up to help get them settled and to make sure that they had all they needed in the way of food and supplies. Shortly after arriving, Wesley called back to Wolfram and Hart for some of the medics and mystics to come and assist the wounded, as they did not want to go to them. Something about being in the middle of the most wicked building in L.A. was not very appealing, even more so since they were injured and could not defend themselves properly.

After everyone was settled into rooms, Angel found Buffy setting in the kitchen area staring at a bottle of water, apparently lost in thought.

"I guess the second front wasn't needed after all. Are you doing alright?" He asked quietly, not sure if she wanted to be disturbed. Her blond hair shift as she glanced up with a thoughtful look and shrugged.

"As good as can be expected, I guess. We made it out - most of us made it out. Not enough of us, but in my mind I know that it could have been worse. So many gave up there lives for a battle that none of them asked for. I just don't understand it any more." She cried out, trying to control her emotions. "Why do The Power keep making us suffer like this. All those deaths, all those girls, Anya, Spike. Why?"

The dark vamp jerked slightly at the sound of his grandchilde's name. He answered quietly as if afraid to speak aloud "I felt it when he dusted."

The tears were falling steady now, she paused, trying to decide how much to tell him of her and Spike's last moments together. "The amulet, it started to glow and it burned him up from the inside. He said he could feel his soul." She turned her hand over to show him the burn from the flame coming off Spike as they had gripped each other's hands, desperate for that last contact, knowing it was going to be their last. "He closed the Hellmouth. He sacrificed himself for the world - no, not for the world, for me. All the times I told him to leave and when I finally got to the point where I didn't want him to go, he's gone, and all I have is this empty feeling inside." Buffy stopped not wanting to talk about the pain of her loss while it was still so fresh. "I think I'm going to lie down for a while. We can talk about the law firm later."

She rose from the chair and walked across to the door before pausing. "Before he burned ... I told him ... that I loved him." She said quietly, looking up at him as she finished.

Brown eyes darkened slightly as a pained look crossed his face. "Did you mean it?" he asked, his voice deep with emotion. As she looked into his eyes Angel had to turn away from the stark pain he saw there. Almost too much to bear was the knowledge of who she was grieving for the most.

"Yes. Angel, I don't know if I can-. I don't know how I going to live without him? He was my - my strength, my salvation for so long, and now he's gone, dust." All that I have left of him is the poems that he wrote for me she thought as the pounding of her heart became erratic. I guess that it will have to be enough. She sobbed softly before leaving the room to allow Angel to absorb her words and their meaning.

The blond turned to make her way to the stairs and her room. Trying hard to not to break down until she made it to the shelter of her room. She curled up in her bed clutching the small book to her chest and let the tears come not bothering to try to stop them. As she finally drifted off to sleep, her dreams filled with blue eyes, and promised herself that she would be with him again one day.


	3. Chapter 2

Summary: Buffy and gang in L.A. to heal and try to figure out what to do next.

Disclaimer: Joss owns all

Beta'd by spikespetslayer

Saying Goodbye

Chapter 2

(Two days later at the Hyperion)

Casually leaning against the door, she smiled faintly at the figure sitting on the bed muttering over the newspaper in his hand. "What's the matter, not going to be a five star day? Planets not in alignment, or has Charlie Brown missed the football again?"

Shaking his head, Xander turned the paper toward her so that the headline was visible.

"Hey Buffy. They're trying to say that Sunnydale must have been on a fault line and it had to have been a freak earthquake that did all that damage, but they can't find any proof to support that. I can't believe with everyone fleeing town days and weeks before it happened that's the best they can come up with."

Sitting down on the bed, and she wrapped her arm around his shoulders. "The power of denial. So how are you doing? I've barely seen you since we got here."

"I just needed some time alone to think and make arrangements. You know all that future plans and stuff." Xander said quietly.

"I know. I still can't believe your going to Africa." Stunned disbelief colored her voice.

"Well, Giles said he needed someone trustworthy to help track down some of the new slayers, and, well, I guess now is as good a time as any to try my road trip again. And with Willow and Kennedy heading to Brazil I guess I just want to do my part, and besides, you and Dawn are going to London with Giles. Faith and Robin are heading to Cleveland, it's not like we're going to be the Scooby's anymore."

"Hey," Buffy protested, "We will always be there for each other, and we're going to call and write, o.k. maybe not write so much, but hey international calling, I'm all over that. Dawn really wants to go to Rome; all this researching has her wanting to visit museums and libraries all over the world. She wants to study ancient languages. First I want to help Giles get started reorganizing the Council, but I don't think I want to stay in London very long. All those British accents – I don't know if I can deal." Her voice broke at the end.

Xander leaned hugging her tightly. "I understand. I think about Anya every second. I know I wasn't Spike's biggest fan or a fan at all really." The sides of his mouth turning up slightly. "But what he did ... getting his soul back, on purpose even, and sacrificing himself. Well, that was more than I ever expected. Just like Anya saving Andrew. In the end, they left as heroes. Not just as heroes for us, but for the whole world."

They sat quietly for a while just taking comfort in each other, the grief not so overwhelming when it was shared.

"Have you talked to Angel?" he asked, hoping that he didn't miss the melodrama that he was sure to come with all the questions and explanations.

"Yeah, apparently he's trying to turn Wolfram and Hart around, make it work for good instead of evil. I just don't know, though. I hope it doesn't corrupt him, having all that power and money to throw around. I just don't think it can be of the good, and he's really upset with the whole me and Spike thing."

"He still loves you; of course he's going to be upset. He'll get over it, give it time. Whoa, listen to me, spokesperson for soulful vamps everywhere. First Spike, now Angel. I better quit while I'm ahead or behind or whichever."

"Xander? Do you think that it will ever get easier? Do you think that all this will just fade away? Do you think you will forget her?" Her words barely above a whisper.

"I think that I will always love Anya. Hopefully someday I can find someone that I love just as much or at least enough to spend the rest of my life with. Is that what your worried about? Forgetting him?"

"Yeah a little. I think I just need some time away. Angel wants to know if I'm coming back but I just don't know right now." She said with a sad sigh. "Part of me still expects Spike just to walk in the door and make some snarky comment, call me shirty, whatever that means, give me one of the those sexy grins, and the way he kind of rolls his hips when he-"

"I'm going to stop you there because that was verging on way to much information" Xander interrupted quickly, seeing where she was headed.

"Sorry" Buffy said sheepishly but the grin on her face was far from embarrassed. "So when do you leave?"

"My flight is at nine tomorrow morning. I figured the sooner the better," he explained, looking down at his hands.

"Well Willow doesn't leave till tomorrow night. And seeing as how it will be a while before we see each other again, how about we go find her and go get some ice cream and spend some Scooby time, just us three."

"Oh – ice cream. Sugary goodness, with sprinkles and my two favorite girls, how could I resist." Arm in arm they left the room to find Willow to bond before their impending separation. Sometimes it feels like you're always saying goodbye.

TBC


	4. Chapter 3

Summary: Buffy and Dawn are getting ready to leave for London.

Disclaimer: Joss owns all.

Beta'd by the wonderful spikespetslayer

Chapter 3 Saying Goodbye

(The next evening)

"Buffy," Angel called, as he entered the hotel and spotted her coming down the stairs. "I thought maybe you and Dawn would like a ride to the airport."

"Thanks Angel, that would be great." Buffy replied quietly. She had been very soft spoken these last few days. This was completely unlike the girl he remembered. He had also noted that she was wearing a lot of black. It was a painful reminder of who she was mourning and why. "Willow and Kennedy just left about an hour ago, and Xander left this morning. Giles and Andrew left yesterday."

"Thank the powers" Angel sighed "I don't know how you guys can be around that kid and not want to strangle him over... and over ... and ..." She put a hand up to stop his tirade with a gentle laugh that was gone too quickly.

"I know what you mean, but he kind of grows on you after a while." Giles had taken the slayers that wanted to train and help with the council, so it had been pretty quiet around the hotel that day. The rest of the slayers that wanted to go home took off the first couple of days that they were there, promising to check in once a month just to let them know that they were safe.

"What about Faith and Robin?" he asked, with just a hint of dislike in his voice to match the look on his face.

"What's this? You and Robin not hit it off?" Buffy's smile only made his dark look deepen.

"Not exactly. What did I do to the guy anyway? He can't come within 10 feet of me without looking like he wants to tear me apart. It's kind of weird being on the receiving end of those looks." Buffy could hear the begrudging respect in the dark vampire's voice.

"His mom was a slayer; he still has some vamp issues. They're leaving as soon as Robin is healed enough to make it to Cleveland." She replied, once again in the subdued voice Angel was coming to despise.

"I bet he and Spike just got along _swell _then" his sarcastic reply was regretted the moment it left his mouth as her face fell and tears filled her eyes. "Sorry I didn't mean to -"

"It's alright, you can talk about him. I want to talk about him. He _deserves_ to be remembered." Her voice resounded with strength that he hadn't seen since the group had arrived days before.

"Listen, what you said the other day, about loving him -"

"I told you I meant it." The anger coming so quickly that he backed up a few steps.

"I know, I'm not questioning that. Still having trouble believing, but not denying that it's true. I just wanted to know what that means to us, and about what your plans are for the future." Slowly she walked to the large sofa in the lobby and sat down with a thoughtful look. What did she want? Before, everything was so easy. Every time he brought it up she had been all avoidy. She knew what she had wanted in the past, Angel, but then he left and she was alone. There were others, the so-called "normal" boys, trying to move on. Then there was Spike. Who had forced himself into her heart with a single-minded determination, but now he was gone, and she didn't know if she had the strength it would take to move on.

She felt like she had lead two different lives. Separating themselves with her last death and resurrection. The first life with Angel and the time spent trying to get over his leaving. The second with Spike and his unwavering belief that they were meant to be together even in the face of her rejection. The first life felt so far away, even though it had only been a couple of years.

"Angel, I don't know what the future holds for either of us. I know that I will always love you, but I'm not sure that I'm _in_ love with you. You said once before that we don't live in each others worlds anymore. At the time I wanted to deny it. But the way I feel now I know it's true. My world just died 4 days ago. Our past is just that, it's in the past. Maybe someday we could start over, a new beginning, but for now I just need find out who I am. Not Buffy, _the _slayer, but Buffy, _a_ slayer, a woman, a sister, a friend. I need to know for me, before I can even think about a relationship with anybody."

"I told you before; I'm not getting any older. We'll just have to see what happens. I just want you to be happy. If anybody deserves it, it's you."

"We better load up, get Dawn, and head to the airport, don't want to be late for our flight." Buffy silently moved closer to Angel before coming together in an awkward hug. The clumsy, apologetic way they back away from each other only reminded them that things we're _definitely_ not how they used to be.

The slayer grinned, turning to looking at Angel. "You know Andrew worshipped Spike right? He used to talk about him and call him a Greek god or something like that."

"I knew it, I knew there was something wrong with that kid!" Angel said loudly, following Buffy's lead and trying to lighten the mood.

She moved toward the door, feeling a weight lift off her shoulders, knowing that Angel wouldn't push. "He used to follow him around, trying to copy his moves, catch him half dressed..." Giggling as she lifted some of her luggage at the bottom of the stairs.

"Spike groupies? I never thought I'd live to see that day." Angel chuckled as he carried the last of the bags outside to the waiting car.

Neither noticed the person on the stairs with tears in her eyes. She had overheard most of the conversation. She couldn't help but share the pain that her sister felt from the loss of the blond vamp. Knowing the time ahead she would be needed to help her as much as she could. She just hoped that she was strong enough for them both. Wishing once again that she had made her peace with Spike before the final battle, knowing she had lost her chance, and hoping that where he was he knew how much she and her sister missed him.

TBC

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Disclaimer: Joss owns all.

BetaÀÀd by the wonderful spikespetslayer

Chapter 3 Saying Goodbye  
(The next evening)

"Buffy," Angel called, as he entered the hotel and spotted her coming down the stairs. "I thought maybe you and Dawn would like a ride to the airport."

"Thanks Angel, that would be great." Buffy replied quietly. She had been very soft spoken these last few days. This was completely unlike the girl he remembered. He had also noted that she was wearing a lot of black. It was a painful reminder of who she was mourning and why. "Willow and Kennedy just left about an hour ago, and Xander left this morning. Giles and Andrew left yesterday."

"Thank the powers" Angel sighed "I don't know how you guys can be around that kid and not want to strangle him over... and over ... and ..." She put a hand up to stop his tirade with a gentle laugh that was gone too quickly.

"I know what you mean, but he kind of grows on you after a while." Giles had taken the slayers that wanted to train and help with the council, so it had been pretty quiet around the hotel that day. The rest of the slayers that wanted to go home took off the first couple of days that they were there, promising to check in once a month just to let them know that they were safe.

"What about Faith and Robin?" he asked, with just a hint of dislike in his voice to match the look on his face.

"What's this? You and Robin not hit it off?" Buffy's smile only made his dark look deepen.

"Not exactly. What did I do to the guy anyway? He can't come within 10 feet of me without looking like he wants to tear me apart. ItÀÀs kind of weird being on the receiving end of those looks." Buffy could hear the begrudging respect in the dark vampireÀÀs voice.

"His mom was a slayer; he still has some vamp issues. They're leaving as soon as Robin is healed enough to make it to Cleveland." She replied, once again in the subdued voice Angel was coming to despise.

"I bet he and Spike just got along Ã#Ãswell Ä#Äthen" his sarcastic reply was regretted the moment it left his mouth as her face fell and tears filled her eyes. "Sorry I didn't mean to ©ÀÀ

"It's alright, you can talk about him. I want to talk about him. He Ã#ÃdeservesÄ#Ä to be remembered." Her voice resounded with strength that he hadn't seen since the group had arrived days before.

"Listen, what you said the other day, about loving him ©"

"I told you I meant it." The anger coming so quickly that he backed up a few steps.

"I know, IÀÀm not questioning that. Still having trouble believing, but not denying that it's true. I just wanted to know what that means to us, and about what your plans are for the future." Slowly she walked to the large sofa in the lobby and sat down with a thoughtful look. What did she want? Before, everything was so easy. Every time he brought it up she had been all avoidy. She knew what she had wanted in the past, Angel, but then he left and she was alone. There were others, the so©called "normal" boys, trying to move on. Then there was Spike. Who had forced himself into her heart with a single©minded determination, but now he was gone, and she didn't know if she had the strength it would take to move on.

She felt like she had lead two different lives. Separating themselves with her last death and resurrection. The first life with Angel and the time spent trying to get over his leaving. The second with Spike and his unwavering belief that they were meant to be together even in the face of her rejection. The first life felt so far away, even though it had only been a couple of years.

"Angel, I don't know what the future holds for either of us. I know that I will always love you, but I'm not sure that I'm Ã#ÃinÄ#Ä love with you. You said once before that we don't live in each others worlds anymore. At the time I wanted to deny it. But the way I feel now I know it's true. My world just died 4 days ago. Our past is just that, it's in the past. Maybe someday we could start over, a new beginning, but for now I just need find out who I am. Not Buffy, Ã#Ãthe Ä#Äslayer, but Buffy, Ã#ÃaÄ#Ä slayer, a woman, a sister, a friend. I need to know for me, before I can even think about a relationship with anybody."

"I told you before; I'm not getting any older. We'll just have to see what happens. I just want you to be happy. If anybody deserves it, it's you."

"We better load up, get Dawn, and head to the airport, don't want to be late for our flight." Buffy silently moved closer to Angel before coming together in an awkward hug. The clumsy, apologetic way they back away from each other only reminded them that things we're Ã#ÃdefinitelyÄ#Ä not how they used to be.

The slayer grinned, turning to looking at Angel. "You know Andrew worshipped Spike right? He used to talk about him and call him a Greek god or something like that."

"I knew it, I knew there was something wrong with that kid!" Angel said loudly, following Buffy's lead and trying to lighten the mood.

She moved toward the door, feeling a weight lift off her shoulders, knowing that Angel wouldn't push. "He used to follow him around, trying to copy his moves, catch him half dressed..." Giggling as she lifted some of her luggage at the bottom of the stairs.

"Spike groupies? I never thought I'd live to see that day." Angel chuckled as he carried the last of the bags outside to the waiting car.

Neither noticed the person on the stairs with tears in her eyes. She had overheard most of the conversation. She couldn't help but share the pain that her sister felt from the loss of the blond vamp. Knowing the time ahead she would be needed to help her as much as she could. She just hoped that she was strong enough for them both. Wishing once again that she had made her peace with Spike before the final battle, knowing she had lost her chance, and hoping that where he was he knew how much she and her sister missed him.

TBC 


	5. Chapter 4

Previously: Buffy and gang have split up. Angel and crew are at Wolfram and Hart.

Disclaimer: Joss owns all.

Thanks to the wonderful spikes petslayer for the beta job!

Saying Goodbye

Chapter 4

(London, England)

Nineteen days. Nineteen days since the Hellmouth had collapsed. Nineteen days since I had told him that I loved him, and then watched him burn. Nineteen days, but it felt like a lifetime.

Standing out on the balcony of my apartment staring at the skyline if the city. A light misting rain had started making the buildings in the distance look like nothing but a hazy outline. He deserves to be remembered, but it hurts so much to think of him, and know that I will never be able to hold him again.

Dawn has been super supporter gal for the last couple of weeks. She seems to be making sure that I'm not alone too much, make sure I eat, get plenty of rest. She had turned into the mom that I had tried to be for her. _"Can't let you start brooding like Peaches now can we?"_ Recalling Dawn's comment from last week brings a smile to my face. I hadn't realized how many of Spike's habits Dawn had picked up until recently. So far she's given me the several cocky smirks, the raised eyebrows more times than I can count, and I'm pretty sure that I heard a _"bloody hell"_ more than once.

Everyone's been busy with restoring the Watchers Council. They have enough jobs for everyone. Already sixteen girls had arrived to learn more about what had happened to them and for proper training. Three had been sent from Faith that she had found traveling across country to Cleveland. Xander had sent six that he had tracked in Africa; apparently they were much more open about demons in their culture. He had found most of them rather easily and was moving on to less populated areas.

Willow and Kennedy had located four, and knew the general areas for about ten more that they had yet to contact. I myself have approached five slayers that the coven had pinpointed in England. One of which had declined the offer to come and join her sisters in learning about their new powers. I had assured her that there would be no pressure, and that she could decide for herself, just left her with the information on how to contact them should she change her mind. Never again would anyone be force to accept a destiny that they didn't want.

I can hear the girls in the rooms above me. The six story apartment that had been owned by the original council was starting to fill up quickly. The brown brick building looks very plain from the outside, but just step into the lobby and you know instantly that this building holds a wealth of power.

The basement had been converted into a gym and training area, far away from prying eyes. The first floor held the newly decorated offices of the council and a small cafeteria. When you had the money you can accomplish much in a small period of time. On the third floor were the apartments for the Scooby gang and the few slayers that had decided to stay with them from the battle in Sunnydale. The remaining floors were taken by the newbie slayers coming in from all corners of the world, with some apartments being used by Giles contacts coming and going for council business.

I can hear the conversation of the girls in the room above mine. Marcie? Mica? No. Mina from Brazil and her roommates Jamie and Becky both from the States. I hear my name, and know immediately what they're talking about. They all look at me like a superhero. They're all afraid to talk to me, but they all talk about me. Rumors of my liaisons with vampires, both deaths, and averted apocalypses have been the topic of most of the girls' conversations. I spend a lot of my time avoiding them, preferring to let the slayers from Sunnydale do most of the training.

I had a long talk with Giles yesterday. Dawn and I will be heading to Rome in two days. Forever the father figure, he already used his contacts and title as the new head of the watchers to get us an apartment and get Dawn into the school system all within just a few hours.

It's time to show Dawn the more of the world. A world that doesn't have monsters around every corner. A world that I pray can help heal old wounds along with the new ones. A world that no matter what my dreams at night tell me, the harsh morning light shows the truth.

He's gone.

At the same time in L.A. (Angel is talking to the gang in his office.)

Angel speaks to his group, trying to assure them that they had not made a mistake. "Yes, we are. We're gonna change things. We came to Wolfram and Hart because it's a powerful weapon. No, sooner or later they'll tip their hand, and we'll find out why they really brought us here, and we'll figure out how to wield it."

"Or kill ourselves with it." Wesley states, his doubts have been growing as the team begins to lose themselves in the everyday drama that the firm seems to be in abundance of. He can't help but feel that they we're being blinded by shiny baubles to distract from the corrupt deals that the Senior Partners didn't want them to know about.

Fred replies flatly, "Yay, team."

"Meanwhile, we do the work...our way, one thing at a time." He picks up the envelope from his desk, rips open the envelope. "We'll deal...," An amulet falls to the floor. "with whatever comes next."

Suddenly, the amulet activates. A black whirlwind erupts from it as something begins to materialize from the dust. A man's form begins to show. When the wind finally dies down, stunned eyes take in the blond vamp in astonishment.

Spike yells. "Aah!"

Wesley softly asks. "Spike?" His eye's widening in disbelief.

Angrily Angel growls. "Spike."

Harmony sticks her head through the office door, smiling. "Blondie bear?"

The blond vampire rushed forward aiming a punch to Angel's head. All eyes in the room widened even more when the blow not only didn't make contact, but seemed to go right through the dark vamp. Spike's eyes revealed his horror as he began to move his hand back and forth his hand disappearing into Angel's chest. "Spike, stop that."

"Bloody hell, Peaches. What did you do to me?" Blue eyes were blazing with anger as they meet brown. "Where's Buffy? Did she make it out of the hell mouth? What about the nibblet? Where are they?"

"Spike calm down. I don't know why you're here, but Buffy and the Scooby's are fine. They stopped here after the battle." Angel turned to his team, who were still standing awestruck around the room. "Guys, do you think you could give us a minute."

Everyone turned to file out the door, leaving the two master vampires alone. The newly resurrected man began to pace in front of the windows. "Look Peaches, you can't keep her from me. You don't know what went on the last few years. Have no idea who she is anymore, who I am." Angel leaned back

"I'm not going to keep her from you, Spike."

The blond continued to his rant not paying attention the elder vamp. "She's changed. Bloody hell, she lost her mum, she died, got brought back, life was a living hell, and who was there with her? Me, that's- What did you say?"

"I said that I'm not going to keep her from you, Spike." He stated calmly as he reached across the desk for a pen and paper. Writing quickly he folded the paper and placed under the dark glass paperweight on the desk. Looking at the paper he crossed his arms. "I'm also not sending you to her not knowing how or why you're here. This is her address. As soon as you can pick it up, it's yours, but until then, you will let Fred run some tests. I want to know who or what brought you back, and what you are now, or if you're even here to stay. I won't send you to her just so she can watch you disappear again."

Spike looked suspiciously at the paper. "What brought on this sudden good will, mate? I don't believe that you just willingly let her go. What's the catch?"

"No catch, Spike. Buffy and I talked after Sunnydale. I know what she told you in the hell mouth, and if being with you will help her stop grieving, then so be it. Just know you screw up and you're dust. Now lets head to the lab so Fred can start testing, the faster your away from me the better I'll feel."

The blond sat staring at the corner of the desk where the paperweight sat. Slowly moving his hand across the top, but not close enough to touch. Suddenly his face became determined. He would get his body solid and return to her. He would find a way to get to her. He spun quickly turning to face Angel, who was waiting by the door. "By the way Peaches, where the hell are we?"

TBC


End file.
